WHEN I HAVE TO PLAN BUT DONT KNOW WHAT TO PLAN

I bump into Brother Zainol yesterday on my way to the car park to go back home. After the usual salam, we have a little chat.

Brother zainol: How long have u working here?

Me: It will be a year this September.

Brother zainol: So where’s your direction? What’s your plan?

Me: *awkward silence*

It really hit me how I didn’t know whats my own future plan, my own direction (career wise, spesifically).   Me myself, who, by right should know myself better, didn’t have any idea what to do in the future. I’m sick right? Oh sangat kecewa dengan diri sendiri. 

Brother Zainol, from my very first day working in IIUM, encouraged me to pursue study. 'Pergi sambung master, though you are in clinical line', thats what he said. At least write article, because writing is something that u need to polish. I did write few articles, but finish none of them, semua separuh jalan. 

Saya nak sambung master, tapi saya sendiri tak tau what is my interest, nak sambung apa? Pathetic right? Itu belum cerita lagi rasa tak yakin dengan diri sendiri. Long ago I always think that I am smart (at least I believed that), not the smartest, but in the smart people category. But now, heck no! Boleh tak saya jadikan alasan tak plan nak sambung belajar lagi sebab saya rasa saya tak cukup pandai untuk sambung master? But I don’t wanna say that. Cakap2 kita kan doa, nanti I jadi x pandai betul kan x elok.

Oh so sad.

Clinical wise pulak, we only practice outpatient here. Counseling all the way. Sampai naik muak. And thank you SPA for turning me down two times. Two times tak panggil interview! Hell u lose one damn good employee SPA trust me. 

And by the way, bukannya saya tak bersyukur apa yang ada sekarang. Saya sangat bersyukur. Saya kerja di taman ilmu dan budi, ada office cantik, boss baik, great colleagues. Saya suka je counseling, jumpa makcik comel taknak ngaku minum air manis banyak, jumpa pakcik garang suka makan supplement tapi tanak buat diet control, jumpa adik debab suka makan coco crunch, jumpa adik kurus tanak makan apa2, etcetera etcetera. It just that I feel static, stagnant, plateau.

I know I whined too much, I’m sorry ya Allah. Astaghfirullah..

Letak gambar semasa kurus dan comel. Yang paling penting masa ini sangat bersemangat, sangat carefree, yakin dapat jadi orang berjaya, yakin saya seorang yang bijak, yakin to conquer the world. Semoga semangat (dan berat badan) itu datang kembali. Oh ada mazu dan suhaili juga, rindu mereka.

Letak gambar convo pemangkin semangat sambung belajar. Mungkin doa di bulan ramadhan yang mulia ini dimakbulkan, siapa tahu?

p/s: to whom it may concern, saya nak sambung belajar boleh x?

MONEY MANAGEMENT

I download this cool app called Easy Money last month. Before this, I don’t really bother on my spending, i.e I never keep track of what I buy, to whom I pay and things like that.  I bought what I like without thinking much. And I realized at the end of the month, I just have enough. Not much savings and stuffs. But I as grow up (refused to use the word older –denial peeps, denial  ;p), I see the needs for proper wealth management. Nanti nak kahwin, nak beli rumah, nak sambung belajar, etc etc (the list goes on and on) all requires lotsa money. Hence the use of the app. 

Well besides the obvious (untuk jaminan masa depan), the reason why I started to plan my spending is all thanks to the NDPC symposium that I went to early April. One the workshop done entitled ‘You are healthy but are you wealthy?’. The speaker is Miss Rachel Melvin, the CPA wealth advisor. She introduced us to the 6 Jars of Money Mx, in which our net salary should be divided into 6:

-50% for necessity (car, gives/money to parents, petrol, foods, bills, loan, etc). I would say it is sort of the obligatory spending, monthly.

-10% for financial freedom account (FFA), in which this is for the later life, for ur future, in case of emergency, etc. U cannot touch this money. Haippp…

-10% is for long term saving and spending (LTSS). This is for special things like u want to further study, or get married, or plan for special vacation (tour Europe ke hihihi) and stuffs.

-10% is for education, especially for ur children later on.

-10% is for play. Play here include movies, spa, vacation, books, etc. I was like 10% je??? Haihhh.

-Another 10% is for giving/donation. The more we give, the more we get, right? But this doesn’t include the money u give to ur parent, because it falls under the necessity/obligatory. Rachel said u don’t donate to ur parents right? 

Well for me the 6 jars is only guideline, of course we can modify according to our needs and plan. But its very good if we could plan our wealth wisely. Untuk masa depan jugak kan. 

Back to the app. The app clustered ur spending according to category, ie accommondation, automobile, entertainment, foods, investment, insurance, medicare, SHOPPING (I need to bold this ;)), works, etc. You can also add your own category if u like. The best part is it provides reports on your spending according to those catergory, so u can see the percentage of where u channel your money the most. Haaihhh berdebar nak tengok keputusan ni. Hihi. So here’s my spending last month. For each major category, there are subcategories but I malas nak drilled down kat sini. But u can do it with the app. Note that last month punya gaji banyak sikit because of the backdated salary increment ;).

1. Saving: 31%

This month I could save more, again because of the backdated salary increment. However, I didn’t divide it into FFA, LTSS and education just yet. Hihi. Come on, I just started doing this. Spare me some time ok. ;)

2. Necessity: 40%

Aiyakk.. macam mana boleh kurang dari 50%. Haha. But this month I don’t spend much on petrol because went back to jengka with long. And I don’t travel outside kuantan that much. Plus I live in my brother's house x payah bayar sewa

3. Play: 23.8%

Ok this one I exceed the allocation. But again, spare me ok. We went to Jakarta for Awi’s convocation. So I did some shopping (when I say some I really mean some tau. Berjimat cermat je pergi sana). Majority of it is on the flight tix. 

4. Gifts: 6.7%

Don’t need to mention la what I did kan. 

So basically it’s cool to know where does your money go. At this age, it is very important to manage our financial wisely.  And one important fact, I never realized that I spend about 10% of my salary on foods. Kan? Kuat makan kan? Haha. Happy managing peeps!

MARCH AND APRIL: THE PACKING AND UNPACKING MONTHS

I’ve been away quite a lot on March and April, for work and family matters. It’s very tiring. Here are the summary:

16 March

Went to IIUM Gombak to survey the cafés there. IIUM is going to implement healthy café concept, thus Facilities and Food Service Department (FFSD) has invited Miya and I to give talk on healthy food preparation. 

17 March

Dah alang-alang outstation at Gombak on Friday, we stayed overnight at KL to attend Mazu’s wedding on Saturday. After the wedding, I drove back to Pahang. 

Curik dari FB Kini. Hihi thanks kini. ;)

 29 March

This time, Miya drive to IIUM Gombak for the healthy café talk. We stayed at my sister’s place in Shah Alam, before continue our journey to Cameron Highland for the IEEP the next morning. 

After the talk. We were so relieved it was over. Terpancar kebahagiaan kan.

 30 March – 1 April

IEEP! 

5-7 April

Nutrition and Dietetics Professional Competency Symposium at IMU and IJN. Of course went with Miya, and this time, I drive (bagus kan kitorang main gilir2 ;)). Nasib baik kat KL ada orang sudi bawak pergi dinner malam2. Thank you.. ^^v

The author of our textbook, Miss Escott-Stump. Mesti dia upset kalau tahu I fotostat buku dia kan. Gomene, we were students back then. We dont have much money.

 20 -23 April

Off to Jakarta/Bandung for my brother’s convocation, or they called it Wisuda Sarjana. Sambil menyelam minum air, we also went for sightseeing and also, a little shopping (read: a little saje). 

At Kawah Domas of Tangkuban Parahu, Bandung. Tiga orang ahli rombongan bersama pak supirnya.

 Oh yes, we have also completed all the CME by products company to the third year students, as preparation before they go through clinical year, for them to get used to the products that commonly used in hospital setting. So nanti, dah clinical year, kalau tak tau lagi Ensure untuk apa, Glucerna SR untuk apa, memang nak kena haipppppp la dengan I. The company that has come are Pfizer Nutrition, Abbott, Dutchlady, Danone Dumex, Pharm-D, and Nestle. Alhamdulillah, all the Nutrition Executive that me and Miya contacted cooperate very well and are willing to come to share with the students. All 7 talks have been done successfully throughout February, March and April, Alhamdulillah. I hope that the students gain a lot from all those talks. 

If I don’t have anything up on the weekend, rumah mak is my destination. Its only 1 ½ hour drive, so apa salahnya balik. It’s not like I have anything to do pon here in Kuantan on the weekend , so hohoho balik kampunglah.

So yes, March and April are tiring months, travelling and driving every weekend. But of course, it is the amanah that I have to carry, so I’m not whining, me writing this just to remember the ups and downs, the hustle and bustle in life. Peace!

p/s: the only thing i hate of being away is packing and unpacking. sangat malas. tapi i selalu dapat support masa packing *big grin* ;). 

p/s: i have no issue kalau kena outstation ke KL lagi. bagi la lagi aiman tak kesah..... hihihihihi. ;) ;) ;)

THE LAST DAY OF THE GREAT MONTH

February 29 happened only once in 4 years
Lets cheer for it
So long the 29th day of Febby
Till we meet again 4 years from now
And farewell to you too February, be good
You are such a nice and fantabulous month :)
Have a good life everyone.

OMG he really did whistle hahah. Coolness! One Republic surely is so cool.

~When you're happy like a fool.. Let it take you over
When everything is out..You gotta take it in

Oh this has gotta be the good life~

p/s February 2012 definitely is a great month. My birthday, a memorable and happy weekend, besties wedding, Muhammad Adam (kak aishah's son) was born, Wawa's transfer to Peninsular was approved, and having so many great and tremendous people in my life. Thank you Allah.

25!

 

22.02.2012

Happy 

Grateful

Syukur

Love, Ija

THE UNUSUAL DAY

Hari ini adalah hari emosi. I feel grumpy all day long. Pantang orang bagi stimulus (though small trigger), kite nak sentap. Ok lets start with where the hell is Gardenia Chocolate Raisin? Cari kat 3 tempat –dua Shell Select, satu 7 Eleven. Semua jual Butterscotch saje. Kempunan la kite nak makan choco raisin. Minggu ni (in conjunction with ‘losing-2-kilos-before-turn-25’ mission) berazam nak breakfast roti saje, that’s why I was looking for choc raisin bread. Tapi tak ape la, jgn layan rasa kecewa, orang lain lapar tak makan kau dapat makan roti butterscotch jadi kena bersyukur. 

Moment sentap yang ke 2 adalah kat Klinik Sekilau. <Oh on another note, kak Aishah dah selamat bersalin on eve 20.2.2012 –february boy leh geng ngan auntie ija>. So I covered Sekilau today. Klinik Sekilau ni ada seorang *cough annoying*nutritionist. Tadi dia passed 2 patients to me, appointment hari ni, but not in dietitian’s appointment book. Obviously those patients are hers. Dia yang buat appointment, lepas tu main pass2 kat kite pulak. The usual me would not mind this, in fact I’ll be delightful. Ye la hari ni patient dalam appointment dietitian tak datang, yang walk in pon tak ada. Tapi hari ni rasa nak kesah, rase nak berkira. Kau kalau tanak jumpa pt tak payah la buat appointment. Marah betul aku. Nasib baik cik dietitian boleh senyum baik comel cute lagi depan pt. Patient tak salah, so kalau kite emo, jangan sampai pt terabai. Oh I could win award dietitian paling sabar macam ni kan? Kan? ;)

Episode sentap seterusnya adalah bile klinik habis. Dah la breakfast roti 2 keping je, haruslah kite rase lapar dan berkejar2 mahu lunch kan? Bile sampai kat parking ada kereta block kereta kite. Tak boleh keluar. T_T. Saya lapar. Masa tu berazam nak marah pemilik kenderaan berkenaan. Sepuluh minit tunggu dia bagaikan setahun. Lapar nak mamp*s masa tu. Tengok2 kereta auntie Chinese rupenye, and she truly apologize. Being a good citizen I am, tak jadi marah. Tak ape lah. Ni pon boleh menang award rakyat Malaysia paling sabar kan? ;)

Dalam sepuluh minit terperangkap dalam kete sendiri (over, I know!), duk fikir nak makan ape. Suddenly remember tak penah pegi lagi Burger king yang baru dibuke di TC. Kuantan dah ade burgerking don’t play2 ha. Lol. So kite pon gagahkan perut yang lapar itu masuk gear satu, dua sampai lima, and way to go to TC oyeah. Haa otw tu ada kereta yg macam haram tukar lane tak bagi signal buat jalan tu macam bapak  die yang punye sikit lagi nak langgar kereta aku. Memang makan hon aku la kan. ‘Woi buta ke tak reti bagi signal ke tu signal kat belah kiri stereng kereta kau tu (signal kete proton belah kiri kan?). Stupid jacka**!’ jerit aku di dalam hati. And people said lady driver are worst, tak bagi signal ape kan. Haa that stupid driver is a guy. Lelaki. Kau ingat badan kau besar aku takut? Ni cik dietitian and Malay citizen yang lapar dan dah cukup banyak bersabar hari ni. Banyak sangat sabar memang boleh jadi hilang sabar la kan..

Ok panjang pulak incident sentap no 3 di atas kan. Next is kat burger king. Ok I tanak amik coke so substitute with milo ice slurp slurp. Imagine kepala dah rasa keenakan kelemakan kemanisan milo ais, sedut je air tu tiba2 rasa lain. Rasa masam. Rasa tak boleh blah. Berani dia bagi aku ice lemon tea?? Aku adalah rakyat Malaysia cum dietitian yang baru hilang sabar selepas banyak bersabar. Biasenye kalau kite dah minum macam tu I will let it be. Biarlah.. Tapi hari ni I nak milo. Milo ok? So kite mintak tukar right away. Budak tu say sorry, I still managed an honest smile (betul memang ikhlas sebab die ikhlas mintak mahap) and say its okay. Cool kan kite? Lol. 

Oh ada satu cerita lagi yang trigger my grumpiness today. Received an sms from a year 3 student, regarding their community dietetic placement. Actually I ada rasa pelik sikit with the students. Year 3 and year 2. And some of the final year students. Masa zaman kite student dulu, I really respect all my teachers –be it academic and non-academic (lecturers and teaching dietitian la tu). And even all the staffs (including admin assistant). I tak akan ‘akak’kan staff. U know, its UIA, so we called the staff sister. And I wonder how the students so selamba called us kak. Its not that I’m so eager for them to call me sister. Like some of the year 4 I did understand because they used to be my junior (though we are not that close and some of them never talk to me pon even our rooms are just near by). Tapi tak pe la kan.. Ini those yang year 2 and year 3, I never knew them before. And last I recall, I tak ada adik masuk UIA (ok yg ni I tried to crack a joke, sile gelak). 

Walaupon kami tak kisah (especially me and Miya la), but it shows your attitude la kan. We are your officer, your teaching dietitian. A little respect wont do any harm, no? I still remember masa I student, kalau nak sms leturer or dietitian, I always start with ‘assalamualaikum (full, not only salam), maaf ganggu sister/brother/doctor’, then baru the mesej. And I never use shortforms. Because I believed that it is one of the way to show my respect to them. They are not my friends, so I chose my words carefully. I don’t know whether it is just me (I sometimes overthink thing), or betul budak2 skrg ni weird sikit. Hmmm…

Haa ada lagi benda jadi hari ni yang buat kite marah sikit, but its not anybody’s fault ; eg I was looking for kak elis two times to submit something but both times she was not around, cari referral form early February untuk buat cencus tapi tak jumpa (nak call kak Aishah die dah masuk labour room pulak hihi) and few other small things. Tapi tak pe la tak penting. 

Tapi ada benda yang cukup kelakar terjadi yang buat kite rase nak gelakkan diri sendiri and cakap tu la kau emo lagi. Tadi lepas shampoo macam biase nak letak conditioner, tapi I pergi tuang shampoo jugak, dah shampoo rambut 2 kali. Lepas tu dah elok2 amik conditioner instead of rambut I pegi tepek kat muka pulak. I was like ‘whats happening to me?’. Gelakkan diri sendiri hahaha. 

Weird thing is I woke up from the right side of the bed today (right as in ‘betul’, bukan ‘kanan’). I feel very motivated waking up this morning. Monday blues? Naaahhh.. Semangat doo gi kerja tadi. Tapi tu la bak kata lirik lagu Hijjaz yang kite suka ~hidup tidak selalunya indah, langit tak selalu cerah, sulam malam tak berbintang, itulah lukisan alam…~ pastu sambung pulak ~dalam diam taburkanlah baktimu,
dalam tenang buangkanlah amarahmu, suburkanlah sifat sabar, di dalam jiwamu itu~. Haa kan bagus kalau dapat buat macam tu. 

So moral of the story, when things start to fall apart, its easy (and normal) for us to get angry and be upset. Tapi sebagai hamba, kita tak boleh lama2 layan rasa marah dan kecewa dan sedih itu. Kalau boleh elakkan terus. Tapi kalau tak boleh elak, jangan biar lama2. Semua benda yang terjadi Allah yang aturkan. Kalau kita asyik nak blame orang, cari salah orang, marah-marah, tak sabar, Tanya balik, kita marah kat siapa sebenarnya? My beloved English teacher Miss Lin pernah cakap, keep on blaming until you cant blame anybody. Akhirnya, kita (sort of) nak tunding jari kat Allah sebab biarkan keadaan jadi macam tu. Astaghfirullah. Hamba macam mana kita ni kalau ada perasaan macam tu? *silent, istighfar*. So lets reflect, banyakkan bersabar. Bukankah sabar itu syurga? ;)

P/S: This is a lengthy post. Tahniah jika anda berjaya baca sampai habis. I memang saja buat panjang2 with no pics at all. So jika kamu berjaya baca sampai habis, kamu memang orang yang sabar. Boleh gang ngan kite hihihi. Kalau tak ada yang baca lagi bagus ini adalah sisi tidak matang saya hihihi lagi sekali.

P/S: Cerita ni berlaku semalam sebenarnya (20.2.2012), tapi tengah2 i type terbuat keje lain pulak hihihi. 

LAY IT DOWN SLOW

and then the daisy said...
'if you got pain in your heart, why don't you share it with me?
and we'll just wait and see if it's half what it used to be...'

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE (EH??)

I am indecisive. I always, always, need other people to help me decide.
Sometimes when I already decided, I still need to ask others' opinion to support me, and tell me that I am right.

So a student called yesterday, asked me to be an accompany officer for their programme in an isolated place.
Deep inside I know that I will go (after been persuaded by boss as well).
But being an indecisive person I am, I told a friend about it.

Ija: Aku susah hati. Macam kena pergi jugak program tu.

Kawan Ija: Berapa ramai yang escort program tu?

Ija: Dari UIA aku sorang la. 

Kawan Ija: Berape lame program tu?

Ija: Khamis sampai Sabtu. Tak ada phone coverage. How am I gonna live? T_T

Kawan Ija: Ok la tu. 3 hari je. Kalau bosan main Hangman. ;)

Monolog Ija: Huh??? (dan kite baru tahu hari ni elektrik kat sana pakai generator. boleh ke nak charge hp nnt? kalau tak tak boleh la main hangman).

Ija: Aku xde semangat la..Tak ada orang yang aku kenal.

Kawan Ija: Firstly, program tu kejap je. Anggap la nak tolong orang. Jangan cepat pikir negatif ... (yadda yadda banyak jugak die bebel). Second, anggap je la program tu nak pergi bercuti, tengok tempat baru, relax2. 

Monolog Ija: Aku nak pergi bercuti ke island. Tamo kampong orang asli. T_T

*dialog been edited here and there, nanti panjang sangat pulak*

So I wake up this morning, already decided. See, kan dah cakap, kadang2 tu memang dah decide, but because of the indecisive trait in me, I need others to rationalize things, and sometimes encourage me. Hehe.

Thanks friend. Budak body builder owe u one.

Feeling2 nak pergi kampung orang asli di pinggir hutan, carik lagu tarzan. You'll never walk alone, eh, You'll be in my heart.

Chow! Kite nak pergi baktisiswa ni. Feeling2 mahasiswa lagi gittewww...

2011: ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

 2 days left to say adios to 2011. 2011, for me, is a unique year. It can be divided into two phase –relaxing phase (up to the point it’s depressing), and ‘back in business’ phase. 

I was struggling to find job during the first phase. Mind u, I quit my first job on November 2010, after only 6 months of working. I was so confident at that time that I won’t be jobless for too long. Yeah silly me. That being said, I never (read: never ever ever ever ever ever –Barney Stinson’s style) regret the decision. The time I quit was the same time as my sister deliver Syauqi (my very first nephew), also my youngest brother involved in pretty serious accident. So I could lend some hand to my parents at home (or that’s what I thought I did –u know, to ease myself, heh). 

CPU Bangi was cool, but HATTM was pfftt. ;)

Anyway not that I didn’t get any offer during the first phase. I did get a few –but turned it down. Yeah I know, dah la tak ada kerja, mengada-ngada pulak nak memilih. In my defense, my 1^st job really thought me to be selective. Haha. Don’t get me wrong, I really learnt a lot from being a catering dietitian. It’s just that I can’t keep up with the work. The job demands me 24-7. They even call me at 2,3 am, also on the weekend. So yeah, I chose to leave. 

Well here are the recaps of the ups and downs in 2011. Check it out!

January

-I supposed to report duty for the Dutchlady job on the 3^rd. The pay was good though. I choose to stay at home instead ;).

-Fizah (my paus-mate) and Radzi wedding. I went to Radzi’s reception in USJ. 

February

-Besties wedding, Nawa. My roommate for 4 years. 

I love it how many of us are not ready in this pix. Love!

Add another year to my age, I am 24! Hey I'm cool with it (tipu).

One of my favorite from SR -chocolate strawberry. Yummeyh! Thanks long.

-Another month of being jobless. On the positive side, my cooks were improving (again, nak sedapkan hati).

March

-Interview in IIUM Kuantan, as clinical dietitian. God knows how nervous I was to be interviewed by dear lecturers –Dr Nik and Sis Fathin. I pass the interview, has to wait for 2^nd interview in Gombak by MSD. Quoted from Dr Nik when he advised me on tips for Gombak’s interview –‘I remember u being a very confident student in class, so I don’t have issue with ur confidence level. Its just that u have to be critical, because MSD love to ask question to test ur critical thinking skill (Nampak sangat budak ni maleh memikir haha).

Gath with these crazy but adooorable girls during interview, in diet kitchen and no less. How nostalgic that was. Love!

April

……………………………………. <--Shows depression. Six months with no jobs. No news from UIA. I seriously thinking about pursuing masters.

May

-Kakya’s wedding. 

-Went to IDP open day. Semangat berkobar-kobar nak sambung study. Dream big, nak pergi oversea. There’s no harm in planning (and dreaming) right?

-The end of May, saw some light at the end of the tunnel (cewah). Went for interview as a part time dietitian in Selayang Hospital (SH). Thanks to a friend Ilman for the info. Alhamdulillah was accepted (at last, sayonara jobless!).

June

-Kick off in SH. Blessed with a chance to work with many great, inspiring, and of course, fun people –Big boss Pn Mages (used to be our visiting lecturer back then), Kak Nora, Kak Elly, Kak Zam, Kak Fizah, June, Ben, TLF, and Ilman. 

Wonderful people

-Miya-Iqbal wedding! I went to Iqbal’s reception at Pontian. It was a day trip with Ilman, Pitat and Alip. And it was crazeyh! Haha. Laughing all the way. Alip asyik buat lawak bangang je sepanjang jalan (ade ke patut panggil aku JAH?).

Kitorang jadi extra dalam photoshoot diorg. Cool.

July

-Start this blog ;)

-My first time in PD. Hooooray! Thanks to my kakak and BIL for the invite to stay at TNB’s guest house with them. Went to Kakfizah’s wedding in PD as well.

Kakfizah yang gorjes.

-Move in to Kak Elly’s house. A very wonderful time with Kak Elly and June. They are the bestest and coolest housemates ever!

Buka puasa bersama2 @ Restoran asam pedas. OMG their bubur lambuk is awesome.

-Finally, interview at IIUM Gombak. However I was really demotivated at that time. The other candidates are the best –Pitat is very experienced, has been working in HKL more than a year already, and the rest; Ramadan, Sakini and Karimah, although they are juniors, I know that they are the best in their batch. So yeah, I just went, feeling down. And was the last to be interviewed. My hope at that time? 10%. Yup only that much. Betul tak tipu. Still, faiza ‘azamta, fatawakkal alallah~

August

-Puasa! Ramadhan kareem.

-4^th Ramadhan: The date that I’ll remember forever. It was the holy month Ramadhan, after Zuhur prayer and mengaji in the surau, I got the call from MSD, was accepted to IIUM. Alhamdulillah.

-It was also my last month in SH. As much as I longing to work in IIUM, I was having second thought about leaving SH. Betul tak tipu. Kakak2 kat SH baik sangat, the working environment was cool. So I say my farewell to SH, that has thought me a lot. :(

Pn Mages ckp, kita buat gaya freestyle laa.. ;)

-Hari raya aidilfitri!

September

-Start off at IIUM. Uish memang berdebar. Only a week after report duty the final year students start their clinical attachment. I was in charged for In-patient, in HTAA. That’s why I am so grateful and blessed for the chance to work in SH, though it was only for a short period. It sorta trained and polished me to be ready to teach students. Thanks SH!

The first group attached with me. Sorry I was still new at that time. I wish for us to start over.

October

Busy jangan kacau ;)

It takes forever to finish checking the logbooks

November

-Busy jugak ;)

-Hari Raya Aidiladha. The first birthday of the cutest little monsters.

Qi dan eyin, one year old

-Oh attend Clinical Nutrition Workshop. Cool!

December

-Final rotation, final group, finally…

-IIUM Mosque is finally done. Alhamdulillah. Really brought back memories…

IIUM Kuantan mosque. We grew up in IIUM listening to the sounds of its construction.

Well that’s pretty much the summary of 2011. I even blogged about some of the event, u know, to keep them as memory. It is a challenging year, with the job issue and what not. The most important lesson that I learn was Allah is the ultimate planner. Wa makaru wa makarallah, wallahu khairul makirin. What we can do is to keep on going, keep on praying. Jangan putus asa dengan rahmat Allah. Always remember that Allah knows best. There’s always something in everything.  So 2011, bai bai! Although you were a difficult year, I still love u, u know? 

2012? Azam? New year resolution? I don’t set any specific target. I am just hoping to become better –better Muslim, daughter, sister, friend, dietitian, and employee. Yeah maybe there are certain things that I wanted to achieve and do, hence may Allah ease everything. Semoga diberi yang terbaik. So 2012, bring it on!!!

Jangan malas berdoa

 Love, Ija.

THE STORY OF MY DIETETIC COUNSELING -PART 2

Being a dietitian is not all about dietetic consultation. Sometimes its beyond that. Take today’s case as example. I was covering Kak Aishah in Klinik Sekilau. One of the patient today was a 50 yo Science teacher. She was the 8^th pt, the last pt before lunch hour, newly diagnosed with diabetes mellitus.

So same old same, I asked for her 24 hour diet recall, and the food frequency checklist. To cut the story short, she practices a very good, healthy, well and balanced diet (the one that I myself found it hard to do), all that you can find in the textbook. The portion size is very good, no refined sugar in the diet, lots of veggies (organic some more), healthy cooking methods, healthy lifestyle, exercise regularly, regular medical check up, and she also has an ideal body weight. She claimed that she has always been practicing healthy diet, and has become more conscious on diet ever since her husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2004. She knows all about the anti oxidants, omega 3, unsaturated fat and what not, as she claimed that she read about diet more than she study for her Masters. That’s how conscious she is. That being said, she has a strong family hx of DM, as her mother was diabetic.  

Her question is –what have I done wrong?

It’s a very difficult question. Because she asked that not because she didn’t know the answer, but she asked that out of despair, frustrated, and sad. I could sense that she was heartbroken. It is always easy to counsel diabetic pt based on the guidelines that we have –regular meal time, don’t skip meal, avoid refined sugar, carbohydrate counting, increase fiber and less fat. What if your pt already knows all these stuffs, and what more has been practicing it for long? Do I still nag about all these things? Of course I still did the usual diabetic counseling; despite she already knows most of it, but with justification. Each diabetic guideline that I mentioned to her, comes with the ‘why’. Well I hope that helps. But that’s not all.

Remember I mentioned before that diet consultation is very individual? So I told the pt, that diabetic, is hereditary. When your mother has diabetes, the chance that u might also get it is 25%. At the beginning of the discussion (I rather called it a discussion as she knows a lot) she was very skeptical about genetic issue (despite being a Science teacher she is). For her it is not fair, you know, to get the disease simply because your mother has it, because it is in your DNA.

I’ve learned Developmental Psychology during my first year of study. The Kubler-Ross grief cycle. There are 5 stages of grief, upon knowing bed news. They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I believed that the pt has been on the second stage –she she keeps questioning why, and how does she get diabetes, with all the healthy diet and lifestyle. She said that if it is not for the biochem result in her hand, and the repeating test, and the diagnosis by doctor, she will never believe it. And she is somewhat giving up on healthy lifestyle, as she mentioned that why bother when at the end of the day, she still sick. 

The Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle -image googled

At the end of the session, I did tell her something else –to bersabar, and having diabetes doesn’t mean the end of the world. She can always continue practicing healthy lifestyle, take control of the disease, don’t let it ruin you, physiologically and emotionally. And that was not me as a dietitian talking –that was me as a human being, trying to put myself in her shoes. Its difficult, really. I just hope that she will reach the end stage of the grieving process, which is the ACCEPTENCE phase, make peace with the disease, and yeah, control it.

Sometimes its hard to explain things with Science. As a Muslim, we have to have faith in Qada’ and Qadar. When Allah said kun, fayakun. No one can stop it from happening. And we must believe that there is always something in everything. Setiap perkara yang terjadi ada hikmahnya. La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus’aha. May Allah grant us with good health, amin.